Black backpack

I saw him today
Black backpack
I don't know his name yet because its only been three days so
I just call him black backpack for now
But there he was
On the other side of the elevator doors
For a second
I thought I pushed heaven instead of number four because
Black Backpack
Is built, looks, smells and sounds like an angel
Hand crafted with God's special stash that he only uses to make men like
Denzel, Will Smith, Blair Underwood
6"1' with caramel skin
Medium build but you can tell his always in the gym because he wears his ID card on a blue lanyard around his neck
A goatee and waves that can take back to early mornings on Galveston Island
His eyes? Little light brown M&M's
And I have been craving chocolate like I'm eight months pregnant with swollen feet
Yep black backpack is my daily Red Bull
Caffeine-free and guaranteed to put a spring in my step with a single quarter-second look
Today, as we crossed paths for the fifth time in three days
His shoulder grazed my shoulder and for a second
A million images raced through my brain of
Long walks, hugs, talks, kisses, smiles, grazes, touches, rubs, mornings, nights, soft grazes and softer phrases
I heard him say "Excuse me" with sincerity
And my response "It's ok" was lost in the whirr of the elevator doors
Black backpack
I wish I knew his name

That's just me

*This poem says a lot of the stuff that I've been wanting to say for a while, especially for all the people that secretly check for me, or wonder why I do the things/wear the things I do. I'm confident enough in myself to post this. So you can either dig it or suck it easy!

The girl who you thought I was yesterday
I am her thoroughly
And who you thought I was last Tuesday
I am her, too, truly
I am me
I live by my own rules
Unconstrained by society I do my thang
Spike Lee calls me Mookie cause I Do the Right Thing
Which is me
I don't fit into your little boxes
This ain't Weeds
To most people my way is confusing
Well, that's just me
But here's a cheat sheet if you just have to ask
You'll be tested everyday so I hope you pass
And for your convenience I even added a beat
So you can follow along, if you need to tap your feet
I rock a billed beanie and studded belt for a punk rock feel
Throw on my white AF1s and matching hat so I can keep it real
Got a padded bra and mini skirt if I feel like sluttin'
Need some shades to match my ice for when I feel like stuntin'
Funny thing is when I go home all this shit comes off
And I'm still a person with independent thought
Because you're supposed to make the clothes, not clothes make you
And don't like and say they don't because you know they do
And these clothes don't make P-Dub, just in case you were thinkin'
That my collection of fedoras means I'm pimpin'
Or my baggy jeans and blazers mean I be lickin'
I see you lookin' at me sayin' this girl is trippin'
Don't get me wrong now, I don't mind the looks
I just wish while you turn your head you could turn on them books
You can get an education in classes and in the streets
I hope this poem gives you a little education on me

My poetry

My poetry works through me
Like a portal from my subconscious and unconscious
That finds a small exit at the end of my pencil lead
It leads me
There are times when I don’t travel the portal often
Scared of what’s on the other side
But every time I step through its magnet grip
And my mind is stretched and bent similar to a cartoon
I come out a better person
Unknowingly
Sometimes it’s deep
Filled with heat like
“I don’t think I was born underwater with three dollars and six dimes
But I can loan you a dub and 16 nickels to buy a ticket out the past
Now get that!”
And sometimes
Real talk
It’s straight bullshit
But it’s all me
All my poetry

Falling

If a heart can break
When you fall in love
Un-cushioned by the one you love
Thought heaven sent from above
Then how many times can you fix it?
Because I've searched and searched for the right glue
The right U
That would come along
And repair my heart's broken pieces
I've tried by myself and I'm getting pretty close
But I always find
Like a jigsaw puzzle
A few pieces missing
I've concluded that when I fall
And my heart shatters
You each take a little piece for yourself
Which is your place
Maybe its on your mantle above your fireplace
I don't grudge on my missing shard
Little Nan-shaped, Ru-shaped, Book-shaped shards
I just wonder how I'm supposed to put my heart back together
If all the pieces I need are so far apart
Does that mean I shouldn't fall?
Does that keep you standing tall?
Because me
I'm not scared, but apprehensive
That's all

Groupies

I’m not famous, though I will be
But it’s neva 2 late, to have a few groupies
Ya’ll call ‘em hataz but I’m on the positive
Cuz only hataz wanna know exactly how you live
What cars you got & the style you wear
When most niggaz just really don’t care
Groupies come in all shapes, sizes and colors
Literal & metaphorical dick suckas
Or pussy lickas, whicheva they prefer
But they all got Chingy syndrome, dey like da way you do dat right thurr
Had a groupie once whom I called Gwen
She followed me like a puppy & always paid fa my Hen
In the club she did her thang but she got no props
Cuz the way I moved it made the niggaz stop
Her face scrunched up like her thong got torn
& from that day on a groupie was born
Then I had a groupie of a different sort
He was kinda odd & I met him at work
Looked like a rat and it fit the descript
Because every day he was watchin’ my shit
Goin’ back and tellin’ the boss all my biz
I just smiled like JK, sayin’ ‘That’z what dat iz’
Cuz dem groupies ain’t gon hurt ya, they just want some love
That’s why they hand check like Gary the Glove
So this goes out to all the groupies on my coat
I hope, like my cum, you never get my name out ya throat

A crush

I'm crushing on you
And I don't crush
But at night, I'm Janet Jackson-ing
Oh yes. . . .I'm missing you much
And in the day my goosebumps
Remind me of your touch
And when I see you
My mind fills to the brim with lust
My heart fills with love
But I'm just crushing on you
So make that a like
Surprised that someone like you
Would even be my type
I'm hoping I can be
Whatever you lack
Wanna get high, baby?
I'll be your dub sack
Dem scavengin' niggas
I tell 'em to bag back
Cause this I have for you
Is exactly where its at
And you have
Exactly what I need
Living without you
Is like living with a disease
Where my heart starts to sweat
And my soul begins to bleed
And every time I think of you
I can't help but sneeze
Only you can make it better
Your smile holds the cure
Something so sweet,
Genuine, easy and pure
Makes my heart, mind
And soul just soar
But I don't wanna get too serious
I'm just spitting the truth
And that is the simple fact
That I'm crushing on you

Teenage Love Affair

*inspired by Alicia Keys' "Teenage Love Affair"
**I wanted a picture of some high school black kids, but this was the best I could get

If I had the choice, I would go back in time
And love you on some high school shit
I wanna walk way outta my way just to see you before class
Spend my day writing love notes to pass
I wanna make my friends sick with our inside jokes and infectious love
143s and 831s
If its puppy love, then let's be dalmatians
I play Perdita, be my Pongo
Counting 101 reasons to be together
Despite Cruella de Vil
Something so innocent, pure and sweet
Something you can't get off the street
I wanna blush at the thought of you thinking of me thinking of us
Sneak off with you after school and miss my fuckin' bus
I wanna put my first and your surname together, making sure it don't sound wack
Buying notebooks for the sole purpose of writing our initials on the back
A beautiful thing when you hold my hand
Hearin' "Nah, she's not my girl, that there's my woman"
I giggle when you smile, swoon when you turn away
Wearing you letterman to school everyday
I want to play with the cord while we talk on the phone
Surprised that we stayed on the phone that long
I want to hear your smile, fall asleep on me, too
This is the way I want to love you
Where there is nothing to stop us but time and air
I'm a grown ass woman longing for a teenage love affair