boxing ring

more than walls separate us
mix in some space and opportunity
we graduated from school yard bullying
wet willies & swirlies to full on fisticuffs
started picking housing floor plans that looked more like boxing rings
and in this corner, i stood
looking at her bedroom door
holding up my guard
i knew when i heard the entrance theme music of catty conversations filled with insinuation
the beat down would begin
turn my mother into another
friend to sugar ray robinson george foreman
swinging big bear punches with such authority
that it'd knock my self-esteem to its knees
hit you so hard you'll future girlfriends will feel it
at night, we'd retreat to neutral corners
had the dignity to fight in designated areas
to come out swinging between the bells & buzzes of alarm clocks
and the days when she'd slip barbed wire bricks in her gloves
i took the hit
because she knew pork chops & rib eyes would heal
bruises & black eyes on my ego
let pens be the vaseline over my swollen jaw
punk, heavy metal be my ace bandage
wrapping my emotion & hurt with white voices
suffocating my own breath
as peace offerings we sacrificed out tongues because
mediation led to confusion for one and happiness for none
cause she can't understand my sentiments clearly
letters could never deliver the message directly or on time
mostly i kept my shit in my mind
& let the walls talk to me
put my head in the stucco white clouds
cause i knew clowns & unicorns would always be there like best friends
cause my mother would rather box me
than love me

Armor

I keep a can of silver polish for you
& everyday I diligently shine my suit of armor
Buffing out scratches and knocking out dents
Cause I want nothing more than to be your knight in shining armor
I waste days sharpening my sword I swore to protect you with
Just to fall on it later
Trippin' over big shoes of responsibility
Steps too established for my inexperienced feet
Spillin' the blood of slain victims condemned to death
By my charismatic disposition on my hands & heart
Blood stains deep
& the chinks in my armor feel more like dents in my confidence
Holes in my subconscious
But everyday I polish my suit
Because I want so desperately to be your knight in shining armor
Your Lancelot, your King Arthur
Because you've never had one
Entertained black knights in court jester uniforms
Shape-shifting fairies with lyres that only strum fables of forever and fidelity
But I'm
More like Alphonse Elric
An empty shell more metal than human
Using cheap alchemic romance to try and bring you happiness
I keep a can of polish for you
Hoping a fresh shine compensates for your demons still alive
& the ones that followed me into this quest
& all you want is a noble peasant
A dedicated blacksmith who loves and provides
But my ego would rather shoot for the stars
Even if my slingshot rocks can't make it that far
The dragons I've killed in past medieval times
Were Spyro compared to the serpents who hold your trust for me hostage
But every time I run off into battle
Trip over my feet & fall on my sword
To die another dishonorable death
The compassion you carry in your fingertips for me
Revives everything, even my foolish pride
& I go home
& I shine my suit of armor for you
Wishing that next time
I can make it past the castle walls
& bring you back a dragon's head
As a worthy prize

Modern Day Porn Star

Her catalog of cinematic pornographic accomplishments
Covers three walls of her three bedroom home
Categorized from emotional destruction to emotional detachment
She remembers each one
Girls Gone Wild, teenage rebellion personified
But ain't nothing soft core about middle-aged men coaching you on how to touch yourself
Them little star launched her star into Freaky First-Timers
Making her the newest hard core porn actress
Changed her name cause Chloe Cummz does what Lisa Thomas doesn't
Suck, squirt, ride
Missionary and doggy-style
Titty-fuck, toys, time-clock lesbians and ATM machines
Cried during Anal Crusaders but
Can't work if all your holes ain't for sale
So she gave up what she was saving for her husband
To a dude named Van Damage who did damage
To more than just her asshole
10th time around
Double Your Pleasure doubled the pressure on her stomach cavity
Two scenes of double penetration meant double the pay
And hey, that's what Lisa was going for
Chloe fucked her way up that ladder of abscess til she could cum no more
And couldn't suppress the pride when AVN gave her four award nominations
2009 Adult Video Vixen
And the jobs came
Wicked's exclusive contract star
Tales from the Dykeside where she learned that
All pussy is created equal
Cream Pie Surprise surprised even the camera man
With her milky white gold flowing like geysers
Graduated to big name dicks and now she's
Fuck'n Blackzilla and only taking Diesel
Letting black wood splinter her pussy walls like cheap pencils
Eight hours hard labor
She rode Black Ice to snort snow to cope with the cicles of social popularity that surrounded her uterus
And the bi-weekly tests couldn't stop her from getting that STD
And heavy birth control couldn't stop her from having Mandingo's baby
Classified a MILF and refused to watch Desperate Housewhores cause
Her moans reminded her took much of her newborn babies cries
Inside, her 10 years in the game felt like 25
She wouldn't make it cougar status cause she let the industry devour her soul
And spit back enough titles to cover three walls of the nearest mom & pop video store
Where Johns can choose her in pigtails or gangbangs
The glossy covers taking away from the shine in her eyes
That has dimmed after years of packaging it away with her dignity
There's nothing like knowing strangers have studied your body for hours
Just for a few minutes of satisfaction
She's lived her life on the front of DVDs and Blu-Ray discs
And that's the price she paid
For your $9.99 a cumshot

Repeat

she said play that song back
press repeat
let me relive our 1st few days through a smooth bass beat
when ur eyes shined as bright as ur smile
even on days when life had lost its luster
i used 2 dress my gender
& u singing 2 me was all i'd need 2 make my day complete
spirited lyrics between plucks of guitar strings
i was that sight, w/my energy shinin' so bright
& so strong that it pulsed through our bodies like sonic booms
as we lay on da floor of my apartment
intimacy at its most innocent
& i can't remember da last time it felt like that
now we live by alarm clocks & difficult talks that may or may not end positively
i used 2 tell u things w/my touch
that would never come out my mouth
& u listened
told me things w/ur body placement on top of mine
that matched da look in ur eyes
& i understood
we spoke our own language & walked our own routine
but somewhere down da line i confused breakin' my neck 4 u
w/breakin' ur back 4 me
overcome by my selfish tendencies
press repeat
da refrain doesn't bother me
cause i wanna still be da Princess who burns CDs
calls u her Honeybee
wanna be da couple who spends their nights @ IHOP
& days in da conforms of satin sheets or comforters or carpets or showers
or da sun rays that cut through patio blinds
soaking in da moments between verse-chorus-verse-chorus-bridge
yea
that track holds da fountain of youth 2 our relationship
da 1st 'our song'
cause we can have sex 2 mixes & singles
but nuthin beats making love 2 my wife
2 da sounds of U & I

Dictionary

I live in the dictionary
I'm 12 months into a lifelong lease and
I've made myself comfortable between the
Pages of black ink and illustrations
The top right corner now conforms perfectly between my index and thumb
Like my grandfather's ass cheeks in his favorite chair
I made poetry my pillow
So I can wipe my feet on poverty in my sleep
Two Tuesdays ago
I evicted my roommate
He couldn't stop leaving his dirty fingerprints on my mantle of beliefs
He wrapped "constitution" around his right hand and
Scribbled "abnormal" on the fogged shower mirror
As I washed off the obligations my mother had
Beaten into my subconscious
He refused to spray weedkiller on the discrimination tree
Sprouting on the book's spine
Said it felt too much like cutting down his backbone
So I wrapped both hands around his roots
Trying to uproot his creed that
Redefinition and restriction aren't the same things
When both are rooted in re-instituting
These ropes around my dreams
By then I knew he had to leave
I filled the refrigerator with my organic concoctions
Of compound words that he couldn't digest
Because he was raised on the carnal dishes of
Prefixes and suffixes
Substituting the common in our arranged marriage
With the same ingredients I grew in my backyard
He gagged on his inner inconsistencies
Retaliation gave me a Christmas wedding gift of
One-way tickets to Massachusetts with
Blessings that there, I could get what I need
I said, Mr. Webster please
I prefer not to go to the state where my ancestors were sold in past lives
Just to come full circle in this life
Cause in this life, my wife's gonna stay with me
And 3's not company
It's a breach of my lease contract
The dictionary is my home
These baby locks are really just complex metaphors
Matted together after fornicating on the first page of the F's
When I'm hungry, I peel back outer sheets and eat in between the lines
Like Malcolm X on the floor of his prison cell
My connection to this papyrus parallels Egyptian folklore
So if anything
Your illegal residence in this residential domicile
Defiles the definition of matrimony more than me playing a groom
And my woman playing the bride
Now is the end of your time
So eviction put your stuff outside
Meaning a little unclear?
Well by all means
Go look it up

The Pied Piper

Can you hear it?
Can you hear the sweet melody?
It wafts through the air like a midspring breeze
Yet its strong enough to blow hymns through guitar strings
He's coming
Making his way to our pueblos, our towns, our barrios, our street corners
Effortlessly gliding up and down musical scales
Cultural divides
Racial lines
To unite us with one song of change
The pied piper of a new world history
He's coming
And us rats have been waiting
Waiting on the one who would dawn a new day
Cause we are tired of scavenging
Coveting the leftover food scraps thrown out by the nose turners and eye cutters
He gives us something as elusive as the sweet smell of freedom
Singing Flobotic creeds of manifest destiny
This land is my land, This land is your land
And we
Want it back
To taste the fruit of our labor
Instead of harvesting it for someone else
We rats are readying to flee this downtrodden village infested with poverty
To follow the piper to the land of milk and middle class tax cuts
Honey and affordable healthcare
A paradise not lost, just needing to be rebuilt
He's coming
Do you hear it?
Do you hear the joyous chords of revival?
Accompanied by a nation of backup singers
Sopranos, altos, basses, tenors
All willing this musician closer
To keep Baracking
To push on harder
Cause us rats need saving
We're down to our last piece of cheese
We've spent the last eight years on our knees
Just fertilizing bushes that only birth feces
It's been past time to leave
To venture into the green, into the black
Back to the glory of yesteryears
And the hope of this man to take us there
Floats like the notes that flow from his voicebox
It sounds a little like Sam Cook
Mixed with Marvin Gaye
Produced by Will.I.Am
That pied piper is a bad man
I can hear it
Can you?
Yes we can

Vids and Pics

Here are some good pictures from my first solo feature on Sept. 30. Also, check She Eats for a new vid of me performing the first part of the piece, and if you didn't notice, The Mask was redone from the first time. It's got new parts and edits.