Groupies

I’m not famous, though I will be
But it’s neva 2 late, to have a few groupies
Ya’ll call ‘em hataz but I’m on the positive
Cuz only hataz wanna know exactly how you live
What cars you got & the style you wear
When most niggaz just really don’t care
Groupies come in all shapes, sizes and colors
Literal & metaphorical dick suckas
Or pussy lickas, whicheva they prefer
But they all got Chingy syndrome, dey like da way you do dat right thurr
Had a groupie once whom I called Gwen
She followed me like a puppy & always paid fa my Hen
In the club she did her thang but she got no props
Cuz the way I moved it made the niggaz stop
Her face scrunched up like her thong got torn
& from that day on a groupie was born
Then I had a groupie of a different sort
He was kinda odd & I met him at work
Looked like a rat and it fit the descript
Because every day he was watchin’ my shit
Goin’ back and tellin’ the boss all my biz
I just smiled like JK, sayin’ ‘That’z what dat iz’
Cuz dem groupies ain’t gon hurt ya, they just want some love
That’s why they hand check like Gary the Glove
So this goes out to all the groupies on my coat
I hope, like my cum, you never get my name out ya throat

A crush

I'm crushing on you
And I don't crush
But at night, I'm Janet Jackson-ing
Oh yes. . . .I'm missing you much
And in the day my goosebumps
Remind me of your touch
And when I see you
My mind fills to the brim with lust
My heart fills with love
But I'm just crushing on you
So make that a like
Surprised that someone like you
Would even be my type
I'm hoping I can be
Whatever you lack
Wanna get high, baby?
I'll be your dub sack
Dem scavengin' niggas
I tell 'em to bag back
Cause this I have for you
Is exactly where its at
And you have
Exactly what I need
Living without you
Is like living with a disease
Where my heart starts to sweat
And my soul begins to bleed
And every time I think of you
I can't help but sneeze
Only you can make it better
Your smile holds the cure
Something so sweet,
Genuine, easy and pure
Makes my heart, mind
And soul just soar
But I don't wanna get too serious
I'm just spitting the truth
And that is the simple fact
That I'm crushing on you

Teenage Love Affair

*inspired by Alicia Keys' "Teenage Love Affair"
**I wanted a picture of some high school black kids, but this was the best I could get

If I had the choice, I would go back in time
And love you on some high school shit
I wanna walk way outta my way just to see you before class
Spend my day writing love notes to pass
I wanna make my friends sick with our inside jokes and infectious love
143s and 831s
If its puppy love, then let's be dalmatians
I play Perdita, be my Pongo
Counting 101 reasons to be together
Despite Cruella de Vil
Something so innocent, pure and sweet
Something you can't get off the street
I wanna blush at the thought of you thinking of me thinking of us
Sneak off with you after school and miss my fuckin' bus
I wanna put my first and your surname together, making sure it don't sound wack
Buying notebooks for the sole purpose of writing our initials on the back
A beautiful thing when you hold my hand
Hearin' "Nah, she's not my girl, that there's my woman"
I giggle when you smile, swoon when you turn away
Wearing you letterman to school everyday
I want to play with the cord while we talk on the phone
Surprised that we stayed on the phone that long
I want to hear your smile, fall asleep on me, too
This is the way I want to love you
Where there is nothing to stop us but time and air
I'm a grown ass woman longing for a teenage love affair

Poetic Struggle

She knows it's time
So she grabs her pen ready to rhyme
& spit venom like snakes
But she's no King Cobra
Wanting to use hard curse words
So that listeners understand her frustration
A few Fuck Yous, Shits and Damns don't fill the void, no
Webster hasn't created a hard enough word
It's a wonder why
She wants to cry, she feels them in the wells of her eyes but they won't fall
They are the only thing in her body holding strong
It's so frustrating she wants to cry
Cry for all the relationships broken or lost all together
Cry for the societal standards pushed on her that she psychologically can't live up to
Fuck the physical
It would feel so good to shed a few tears
Because for once, something would be coming out of her body
Rather than being trapped within
& festering
Clinging to a love affair with words she searches for what she hasn't been given in the flesh
Understanding, reassuring words and unconditional love
For a broken pencil lead & a soul left for dead is a dangerous combination
Unsure of her desire to continue living this life, she contemplates mental suicide
A quick & painless disconnection between her mind & body, consciousness and physical being
Because for too long its felt like while the body reaps the benefits of the victory
Her mind is forced to deal with the clean up
She was always told her not to pick her scabs
But like a pure self-mutilator she eyed those fresh emotional scars as a rebellious way to show those in charge who really ran the show
And so she picked & picked until they bled, crying out for a new pencil lead
She figured the more she did, the sooner the numbness would erase the pain,
But the habit only served to enhance it
Each time creating a new reason to want to take out her own emotions
With a double dose of a No. 2
So she looked down at a blank page
A metaphysical representation of the way she feels inside
& she succumbs to the bittersweet poetry

Forbidden Love

Baby I have a confession to make
I want you to sit down 'cause this is hard to take, but
Every day I walk out that door
And into the waiting arms of another's warm
Soft embrace
Like Jagged Edge he keeps me laced
We've experienced a lot throughout these years
I never meant to cause you tears
I know you'll be disappointed in me, but
His presence seems to give my life longevity
He's taken me around the world
He's shown me off like I'm his girl
You see
I'm having a love affair with words
I wake up in the morning and wonder what he'll have waiting for me
A bouquet of rhetoric roses
A box of chocolate-covered metaphors
Maybe a mental massage
With him there is never a dull moment
Sometimes he likes to tease me with gentle kisses on my subconscious
Or little nibbles on my imagination
Ooo. . .but when he deep strokes my creativity
That’s when I know he truly loves me
I had plenty of choices but most didn’t last
I dated sports, but every day I’d find him cheating on me
Music was verbally abusive, calling me bitches & hoes
So a relationship with words was the logical way to go
He lets me play Janet and stay in control
For the most part I run the show
But when he has something he needs me to know
He puts it out there with no hesitation
Treats me like my namesake
Love him so much I even take
Pieces of him to work with me
I love it when he’s put together
He’s such a great dresser
So call me a liar or a cheat, but first call me a poet
And these words ensure that you and everyone else knows it

Untitled

*This one is a little personal, so if you don't know about this situation, you probably shouldn't.

Something in your skin & touch gives me fever
& instant amnesia
My temperature begins to rise, pores begin to sweat
& I forget all the stupid things you've done
Like that time you broke my heart
Jus when our relationship was beginning to start, to bloom
From then on you were doomed
Like a 30-point deficit you had to come from behind
Your coaching skills need work, but the finesse game
You perfected it
And I want it to work
But the things you did, the secrets you hid
Keeps me down deep within
From ever saying the 3 words: Be with me
Because I love you is easy for me & you
That emotion hasn't changed or faded through strife
Even accepting the other woman in your life
Though not in the flesh she stayed in our house
Mary Jane got you higher than my pussy ever could
Each with our own not-so-secret lovers
But I find a big difference in you helping yourself
& me helping others
Then you touch me & for that time everything is even keel
All the problems disappear
& I forget all the stupid things you've done

Warm Feeling

Have you ever searched for that safe feeling?
The warmth that can only come from a deliberate sense of contentment
Long to be wrapped up in it like you're inside your mother's womb
It's cozy
You think about it often and try as you might you can't find a viable equivalent
Remembering laying on your mother's chest when your tummy ached
Or your tooth hurt, and as she caressed your forehead although the pain didn't go away
Something came and overtook its place
A feeling of warmth
Kinda like the low setting on the oven
Not too high and not too low
Keeps it hot enough and it feels like luxury
I believe that's what we are all searching for
A girl tries to find the feeling all over
In the stores she shops, in the sites she visits and the clubs she frequents
But all she ended up with was too many clothes, too many Myspace friends and a disease she
can't get rid of
See once you leave the womb there's nothing like it
Sure there are plenty of artificials
Sex can give you that warm feeling
So can some drugs
For most, they finally find it at the most inopportune time
Because they don't expect a lethal injection to garner that feeling
So what do you do, when you need that feeling
That coziness like curling up to a warm fire on a cold day
Or hot cocoa down your aching throat
That fetal position ain't getting it anymore
You find it
Wherever you can