Untitled

I have yet to make peace with the singularity of life
That you are born alone
That you will die alone
The in between we spend filling the empty spaces to our left
Maybe that's why we mark our skin in remembrance of people we never wanted to leave
Why we adopt past strangers as kin
As brothers and sisters
Though their connection to us is just live action well wishes in my senior book
I stayed sweet
I never forgot you
There is an empty space on my right I hold dear
Potential lovers weave in and out hoping to find a home there
They nestle themselves in the crook of my neck praying the fit feels as good to me
As it does to them
I stare at it unoccupied
Fill it with my dry tears and sorrows
Longing, while I cross the finish line of my dreams
Into the outstretched arms of nothing but yellow tape
Every picture I take
Behind my eyes I see a little girl screaming through the door of her bedroom
Crying into her two-player games
I don't like pictures that show my face
The windows don't stay closed
My eyelids, eyelashes are not blinds
They constantly outline the voids once filled by you
Now chalklines I stuff with my memories and working too much and stretching myself too thin
I know that eventually it will all be ok
I will come home to an empty bed and not pile high my stresses just to avoid two cold pillows
The empty voicemail boxes and unanswered text messages will not feel like so much rejection
I will find peace in the silence
The solace
But today the loneliness wraps around me like an unwanted touch
Survives as a parasite on my happiness
Poison
It is always there
And I always feel it