Orange butterfly

*for Karina (sp)*

in the corner she sat
watching a caterpillar from inside her cocoon
fascinated
17 her life had always been lived in the fast lane
never takin' the time to just coast
everybody saw her as misguided and misplaced
on the outside men saw fresh opportunity
police saw probable cause
i went to sit next to her
to talk about trees and leaving
no agenda to give her what she needed
but quickly i saw the irony in her current state of being
she laid out the cards she'd been dealt
like jailhouse bicycle written on pieces of milk cartons
life had been cruel
but not unusual
fragments of her mother
no semblance of a father
forced to learn to fly like baby birds kicked from nests early
but through less than 20/20 eyes i saw
a butterfly
orange monarch hugging close were her wings
a future matriarch shining star blinking sos signals
with her red eyes and tears
when i told her her past and present cause i understand
relate
the only love you feel is that which you give away
and searching for self when the people you loved have already found their place
knowing that there's a better life
but seeing is believing is mimicing the achievements of your peers
so she flew high with pigeons
getting by on her beauty
til she snatched the attention of a guy who lived his life in the G formation
fights over miscommunication
but never confused that she was the ultimate ride or die
on the inside so much
that it didn't seem surreal
the clang of closed steel doors
coveting toiletries and sharing embellished stories
but this caterpillar
crawling on the sill of a multi-paned window
had taken her back to a time when she carried innocence like security blankets
she told me of all the women
she was coming to find me
under a shade tree
or riding silently on the train
mama i hope you do
glide on a breeze and land on my shoulder
with orange wings spread wide
cause you deserve to leave this cocoon behind
its tough love like heavy hands too familiar for my tastes you need to unacquire
don't be afraid to retire all that's keeping you from soaring higher
life is much more than nuck-if-you-buck dances on street corners
its your time to shine
spy something more with those beautiful eyes
butterfly its time to fly
and leave this jailhouse behind