10/7/13

the Tuesday I announced my tour

the cop sits in the middle of the street
I see her, but don't flinch
I wonder if she will bullseye the target on my car

in surburbia
the cops always follow a little too close
their grills smile "you will how high when I JUMP!"
but they pass

here
where the rich, middle and priviledged tightrope the edge of my neighborhood enough
for coffee and books
the cops play target practice

I am less than a mile from home and the cop
stops me before I can cross the light
there is no fear
her routine is familiar and so is mine
for me
I turn off my music cause you dare not sully the sweetness of this CD

I wonder if the woman under the uniform
chose cop over civilian to escape herself
her past
if she thinks the control she gained tastes better than
the misery she watches from the barrel of her cop car

she returns and tries to chastise a little girl into me
why are you driving?
the bus runs everywhere
correction: the bus runs everywhere you want me to be
ahem, I don't have money
you had money for gas
I don't have gas, look, see

her stance hardens
I realize to her
I am not a flying skeet-shooter plate on the descent
I am a carnival game
one duck in an endless row of targets she'll shoot over the side
I stop talking
wonder when she put a finger on the lid of the pot crabs can't push ajar
there's silence
I visibly agitate her cause
I'm not 'yes ma'am, thank you ma'am' her reprieve of not taking me to jail
the consolation prize of two tickets and a long goodbye to my car

ok
for her apathy I make her wait
take
every valuable to stuff in my bag
whisper blessings and prayers to the woman who got me this far
my car is just another girlfriend I didn't let go soon enough
I am only down
at the prospect of duck-walking my way home
slewfoot and shouldering a bag now double in weight

can someone take me home? I've got a bad knee.
you said you live close, right? you'll make it.