I look just like you
Your nose, your cheekbones, your forehead I stole
Carbon-copied and claimed as my own
Even if you took a sample of my DNA
And made a female five inches shorter
50 pounds lighter and wit hair longer there's no way
It would look more like you than I do
And I hated you
Cursed the mirror because this face reminds me of you
And how much you weren't around
Prayed for a broken ankle, sprained knee, torn ACL
So my steps could be altered by boot or crutch
And I wouldn't walk like you
I turned my nose up at people who had dads
Fanatical dads who attended basketball games wearing jersey shirts
Screaming at refs and calling out plays
"You gotta shoot the ball!"
Protective dads who chase niggas away on first dates
With promises of fake shotguns and ass kickings
"You touch my daughter and they will never find your body."
I cried because I knew I had a special kind of dad
A victim dad who makes it sound like an 11-year-old girl's fault that they haven't spoken in months
"Why haven't you called your daddy?"
You made me hate Six Flags
The thought of having to willfully endure another rollercoaster ride
That left me hanging and pushed me to the brink of tears
Sent traumatic chills up my spine
The sad thing is every aspect of myself that I cherish dearly
Originated paternally
My tenacious spirit, my determination
My slight ADD that constantly keeps me busy
I mean, who woulda known my umbilical cord would become the microphone cord
That ties us together with the same tone
The same diction
The same voice
The same animation
No, I don't preach in churches but I do feed words to the masses
Just like you
By the time I was 16, I figured it was easier to just stare at a mirror
Or my own shadow if I wanted to see you
And now
With you all in my face it seems like I can't get enough of your features
Those dimples, those laughlines, those ears
I guess I gotta accept that something more than my name
Makes me a Daddy's Girl
3/24/08
3/12/08
I think of prayers like text messages
I think of prayers like text messages
Like God has a separate Blackberry Pearl that receives texts asking for mercy and singing praises
He gets those forward texts too
Send to 8 people
If you deny Him now He will deny you later
See I prefer to text God casually
So like old friends I thought nothing of it when I described you to Him
The perfect accompaniment to the spoken word of my life
We would vibe like magazines and have a run just as long
I would see the beauty in their soul
And they would see the possibility in loving me
I didn't know He made custom orders
Overnight delivery casually wrapped in packing peanuts and bubble wrap
All I had to do was sign
I love you on the dotted line
I sent Him a text
Said God will you send me an angel today?
The epitome of sensuality and able to love me intellectually
The tap on my shoulder was the UPS man
Miss I have a package for you
Even though I text him often
I never expect a response because I know His phone blows up on the daily
But that day, He responded
I think of prayers like text messages
And blessings as replies
Either I had my phone on silent or vibrate deep in my purse
But I didn't get it
Until much later
I read it and cried, took the pen and signed on the dotted line
God smiled, laughed and my message read
What can Brown do for you?
Like God has a separate Blackberry Pearl that receives texts asking for mercy and singing praises
He gets those forward texts too
Send to 8 people
If you deny Him now He will deny you later
See I prefer to text God casually
So like old friends I thought nothing of it when I described you to Him
The perfect accompaniment to the spoken word of my life
We would vibe like magazines and have a run just as long
I would see the beauty in their soul
And they would see the possibility in loving me
I didn't know He made custom orders
Overnight delivery casually wrapped in packing peanuts and bubble wrap
All I had to do was sign
I love you on the dotted line
I sent Him a text
Said God will you send me an angel today?
The epitome of sensuality and able to love me intellectually
The tap on my shoulder was the UPS man
Miss I have a package for you
Even though I text him often
I never expect a response because I know His phone blows up on the daily
But that day, He responded
I think of prayers like text messages
And blessings as replies
Either I had my phone on silent or vibrate deep in my purse
But I didn't get it
Until much later
I read it and cried, took the pen and signed on the dotted line
God smiled, laughed and my message read
What can Brown do for you?
3/7/08
Days
My days without you
Aren't days at all
the sky may brighten
But the moon doesn't fall
The sun may come up
But I stay down
Because for six straight days
You haven't come around
My life is much clearer
Since you came into my line sight
See your third eyesight
Is much better than mine's right
Your wisdom tugs at my heart strings
Pullin' the lines real tight
You must be an acrobat
Cause you got me wanting to take flight
And soar
Your absence leaves me yearning for more
My love overflows
It won't allow me to slow pour
My emotions running marathons at quick paces
I wanna be in your spaces
I wanna be able to taste your thoughts
And caress your inner being
Put saline solution on your third eye
When it gets irritated, red and dry
Because you need to be seeing
I stay closed from head to toe
Only your presence will reopen me
My nights without you
Seem lifetimes long
The minutes last for eras
the seconds last for eons
The stars must only illuminate
Behind my back
Because I turn around
And the sky fades to black
And stays black
My ears have no use
If your eyes can't talk to me
I'd mail you my skin
Just so you can feel me
Because if I have to go another day
Without a piece of you in my presence
I might as well be in prison
Serving consecutive life sentences
Aren't days at all
the sky may brighten
But the moon doesn't fall
The sun may come up
But I stay down
Because for six straight days
You haven't come around
My life is much clearer
Since you came into my line sight
See your third eyesight
Is much better than mine's right
Your wisdom tugs at my heart strings
Pullin' the lines real tight
You must be an acrobat
Cause you got me wanting to take flight
And soar
Your absence leaves me yearning for more
My love overflows
It won't allow me to slow pour
My emotions running marathons at quick paces
I wanna be in your spaces
I wanna be able to taste your thoughts
And caress your inner being
Put saline solution on your third eye
When it gets irritated, red and dry
Because you need to be seeing
I stay closed from head to toe
Only your presence will reopen me
My nights without you
Seem lifetimes long
The minutes last for eras
the seconds last for eons
The stars must only illuminate
Behind my back
Because I turn around
And the sky fades to black
And stays black
My ears have no use
If your eyes can't talk to me
I'd mail you my skin
Just so you can feel me
Because if I have to go another day
Without a piece of you in my presence
I might as well be in prison
Serving consecutive life sentences
3/6/08
Sappy Love Poem
This isn't one of those sappy love poems
One of those "Your kisses are sweeter than candy" type poems
I mean . . . they are
Like the Purple Fun Dip powder that you eat with the white stick
And you try your damnedest to get the last little bit out of the corner of the bag
Then you eat that stick even though you'll probably get diabetes because it's basically sugar
But this ain't one of those poems
Because I don't write those "I love you this much" poems
I mean, I do
Love you enough to rub lotion on your crusty ass feet
And then take the pumice stone and scrape away the 236 layers of dead skin on your heel
Even clip the thick, yellow, eagle talon toenails - not because the lacerations on my calves need time to heal - but because I love you that much
But this ain't one of those poems
I'd say this is more of a secret ode type poem
A Budweiser poem - This one's for you
Because I don't usually pen my emotions
I don't need to for you to comprehend my love
I show you
with smiles and giggles
Cooked food and teenage wiggles
If I could
I'd write your name on the stratosphere
With the exhaust smoke of 1,000 Leers
Then fly you to the moon so you could see that
YOU ARE MY WORLD
But until God blesses me enough to do so
I'll scribe your name on my heart with Sharpie and Magic Marker
Because surely
It's magic what you've done to me
And this may sound like a sappy love poem
But dammit
Your love makes me wanna put Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Buttersworth out of business
Because everyone in the world should be able to taste
What being in love with you is like
One of those "Your kisses are sweeter than candy" type poems
I mean . . . they are
Like the Purple Fun Dip powder that you eat with the white stick
And you try your damnedest to get the last little bit out of the corner of the bag
Then you eat that stick even though you'll probably get diabetes because it's basically sugar
But this ain't one of those poems
Because I don't write those "I love you this much" poems
I mean, I do
Love you enough to rub lotion on your crusty ass feet
And then take the pumice stone and scrape away the 236 layers of dead skin on your heel
Even clip the thick, yellow, eagle talon toenails - not because the lacerations on my calves need time to heal - but because I love you that much
But this ain't one of those poems
I'd say this is more of a secret ode type poem
A Budweiser poem - This one's for you
Because I don't usually pen my emotions
I don't need to for you to comprehend my love
I show you
with smiles and giggles
Cooked food and teenage wiggles
If I could
I'd write your name on the stratosphere
With the exhaust smoke of 1,000 Leers
Then fly you to the moon so you could see that
YOU ARE MY WORLD
But until God blesses me enough to do so
I'll scribe your name on my heart with Sharpie and Magic Marker
Because surely
It's magic what you've done to me
And this may sound like a sappy love poem
But dammit
Your love makes me wanna put Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Buttersworth out of business
Because everyone in the world should be able to taste
What being in love with you is like
3/5/08
What does the P stand for?
Someone asked me the other day
What does the P stand for?
I have the standard answer I coulda thrown their way
"My father named me Princess so he could always say I was
So I guess that's what the P in P-Dub stands for"
But I wanted to give her more
So I thought in my head
A few months ago on my death bed
The doctor told me I needed a transfusion
They took all the tests and out came confusion
Because no one in my family matched
Dad type O, Mom AB
But me, it seemed what I needed was type P
A fully saturated, fresh batch of liquid poetry
That was one option I could relay
Or I could say
I wanna be everyone's hero
Giving $200 before you pass go
And after, for years I've done this
So the P in P-Dub stands for protagonist
I first learned about them in high school English class
Beowulf, Frodo and Tom Sawyer's young ass
All have a lot in common with me
It came naturally to precede Dub with a P
But see
All that makes me sound elevated
Like I'm King Shit forever being hated
I haven't reached the top of the game, I'm still far away
So that P is potential because I grow every day
What does the P stand for?
I have the standard answer I coulda thrown their way
"My father named me Princess so he could always say I was
So I guess that's what the P in P-Dub stands for"
But I wanted to give her more
So I thought in my head
A few months ago on my death bed
The doctor told me I needed a transfusion
They took all the tests and out came confusion
Because no one in my family matched
Dad type O, Mom AB
But me, it seemed what I needed was type P
A fully saturated, fresh batch of liquid poetry
That was one option I could relay
Or I could say
I wanna be everyone's hero
Giving $200 before you pass go
And after, for years I've done this
So the P in P-Dub stands for protagonist
I first learned about them in high school English class
Beowulf, Frodo and Tom Sawyer's young ass
All have a lot in common with me
It came naturally to precede Dub with a P
But see
All that makes me sound elevated
Like I'm King Shit forever being hated
I haven't reached the top of the game, I'm still far away
So that P is potential because I grow every day
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