Sappy Love Poem

This isn't one of those sappy love poems
One of those "Your kisses are sweeter than candy" type poems
I mean . . . they are
Like the Purple Fun Dip powder that you eat with the white stick
And you try your damnedest to get the last little bit out of the corner of the bag
Then you eat that stick even though you'll probably get diabetes because it's basically sugar
But this ain't one of those poems
Because I don't write those "I love you this much" poems
I mean, I do
Love you enough to rub lotion on your crusty ass feet
And then take the pumice stone and scrape away the 236 layers of dead skin on your heel
Even clip the thick, yellow, eagle talon toenails - not because the lacerations on my calves need time to heal - but because I love you that much
But this ain't one of those poems
I'd say this is more of a secret ode type poem
A Budweiser poem - This one's for you
Because I don't usually pen my emotions
I don't need to for you to comprehend my love
I show you
with smiles and giggles
Cooked food and teenage wiggles
If I could
I'd write your name on the stratosphere
With the exhaust smoke of 1,000 Leers
Then fly you to the moon so you could see that
YOU ARE MY WORLD
But until God blesses me enough to do so
I'll scribe your name on my heart with Sharpie and Magic Marker
Because surely
It's magic what you've done to me
And this may sound like a sappy love poem
But dammit
Your love makes me wanna put Aunt Jemima and Mrs. Buttersworth out of business
Because everyone in the world should be able to taste
What being in love with you is like