Groupies

I’m not famous, though I will be
But it’s neva 2 late, to have a few groupies
Ya’ll call ‘em hataz but I’m on the positive
Cuz only hataz wanna know exactly how you live
What cars you got & the style you wear
When most niggaz just really don’t care
Groupies come in all shapes, sizes and colors
Literal & metaphorical dick suckas
Or pussy lickas, whicheva they prefer
But they all got Chingy syndrome, dey like da way you do dat right thurr
Had a groupie once whom I called Gwen
She followed me like a puppy & always paid fa my Hen
In the club she did her thang but she got no props
Cuz the way I moved it made the niggaz stop
Her face scrunched up like her thong got torn
& from that day on a groupie was born
Then I had a groupie of a different sort
He was kinda odd & I met him at work
Looked like a rat and it fit the descript
Because every day he was watchin’ my shit
Goin’ back and tellin’ the boss all my biz
I just smiled like JK, sayin’ ‘That’z what dat iz’
Cuz dem groupies ain’t gon hurt ya, they just want some love
That’s why they hand check like Gary the Glove
So this goes out to all the groupies on my coat
I hope, like my cum, you never get my name out ya throat

A crush

I'm crushing on you
And I don't crush
But at night, I'm Janet Jackson-ing
Oh yes. . . .I'm missing you much
And in the day my goosebumps
Remind me of your touch
And when I see you
My mind fills to the brim with lust
My heart fills with love
But I'm just crushing on you
So make that a like
Surprised that someone like you
Would even be my type
I'm hoping I can be
Whatever you lack
Wanna get high, baby?
I'll be your dub sack
Dem scavengin' niggas
I tell 'em to bag back
Cause this I have for you
Is exactly where its at
And you have
Exactly what I need
Living without you
Is like living with a disease
Where my heart starts to sweat
And my soul begins to bleed
And every time I think of you
I can't help but sneeze
Only you can make it better
Your smile holds the cure
Something so sweet,
Genuine, easy and pure
Makes my heart, mind
And soul just soar
But I don't wanna get too serious
I'm just spitting the truth
And that is the simple fact
That I'm crushing on you

Teenage Love Affair

*inspired by Alicia Keys' "Teenage Love Affair"
**I wanted a picture of some high school black kids, but this was the best I could get

If I had the choice, I would go back in time
And love you on some high school shit
I wanna walk way outta my way just to see you before class
Spend my day writing love notes to pass
I wanna make my friends sick with our inside jokes and infectious love
143s and 831s
If its puppy love, then let's be dalmatians
I play Perdita, be my Pongo
Counting 101 reasons to be together
Despite Cruella de Vil
Something so innocent, pure and sweet
Something you can't get off the street
I wanna blush at the thought of you thinking of me thinking of us
Sneak off with you after school and miss my fuckin' bus
I wanna put my first and your surname together, making sure it don't sound wack
Buying notebooks for the sole purpose of writing our initials on the back
A beautiful thing when you hold my hand
Hearin' "Nah, she's not my girl, that there's my woman"
I giggle when you smile, swoon when you turn away
Wearing you letterman to school everyday
I want to play with the cord while we talk on the phone
Surprised that we stayed on the phone that long
I want to hear your smile, fall asleep on me, too
This is the way I want to love you
Where there is nothing to stop us but time and air
I'm a grown ass woman longing for a teenage love affair

Poetic Struggle

She knows it's time
So she grabs her pen ready to rhyme
& spit venom like snakes
But she's no King Cobra
Wanting to use hard curse words
So that listeners understand her frustration
A few Fuck Yous, Shits and Damns don't fill the void, no
Webster hasn't created a hard enough word
It's a wonder why
She wants to cry, she feels them in the wells of her eyes but they won't fall
They are the only thing in her body holding strong
It's so frustrating she wants to cry
Cry for all the relationships broken or lost all together
Cry for the societal standards pushed on her that she psychologically can't live up to
Fuck the physical
It would feel so good to shed a few tears
Because for once, something would be coming out of her body
Rather than being trapped within
& festering
Clinging to a love affair with words she searches for what she hasn't been given in the flesh
Understanding, reassuring words and unconditional love
For a broken pencil lead & a soul left for dead is a dangerous combination
Unsure of her desire to continue living this life, she contemplates mental suicide
A quick & painless disconnection between her mind & body, consciousness and physical being
Because for too long its felt like while the body reaps the benefits of the victory
Her mind is forced to deal with the clean up
She was always told her not to pick her scabs
But like a pure self-mutilator she eyed those fresh emotional scars as a rebellious way to show those in charge who really ran the show
And so she picked & picked until they bled, crying out for a new pencil lead
She figured the more she did, the sooner the numbness would erase the pain,
But the habit only served to enhance it
Each time creating a new reason to want to take out her own emotions
With a double dose of a No. 2
So she looked down at a blank page
A metaphysical representation of the way she feels inside
& she succumbs to the bittersweet poetry

Forbidden Love

Baby I have a confession to make
I want you to sit down 'cause this is hard to take, but
Every day I walk out that door
And into the waiting arms of another's warm
Soft embrace
Like Jagged Edge he keeps me laced
We've experienced a lot throughout these years
I never meant to cause you tears
I know you'll be disappointed in me, but
His presence seems to give my life longevity
He's taken me around the world
He's shown me off like I'm his girl
You see
I'm having a love affair with words
I wake up in the morning and wonder what he'll have waiting for me
A bouquet of rhetoric roses
A box of chocolate-covered metaphors
Maybe a mental massage
With him there is never a dull moment
Sometimes he likes to tease me with gentle kisses on my subconscious
Or little nibbles on my imagination
Ooo. . .but when he deep strokes my creativity
That’s when I know he truly loves me
I had plenty of choices but most didn’t last
I dated sports, but every day I’d find him cheating on me
Music was verbally abusive, calling me bitches & hoes
So a relationship with words was the logical way to go
He lets me play Janet and stay in control
For the most part I run the show
But when he has something he needs me to know
He puts it out there with no hesitation
Treats me like my namesake
Love him so much I even take
Pieces of him to work with me
I love it when he’s put together
He’s such a great dresser
So call me a liar or a cheat, but first call me a poet
And these words ensure that you and everyone else knows it

Untitled

*This one is a little personal, so if you don't know about this situation, you probably shouldn't.

Something in your skin & touch gives me fever
& instant amnesia
My temperature begins to rise, pores begin to sweat
& I forget all the stupid things you've done
Like that time you broke my heart
Jus when our relationship was beginning to start, to bloom
From then on you were doomed
Like a 30-point deficit you had to come from behind
Your coaching skills need work, but the finesse game
You perfected it
And I want it to work
But the things you did, the secrets you hid
Keeps me down deep within
From ever saying the 3 words: Be with me
Because I love you is easy for me & you
That emotion hasn't changed or faded through strife
Even accepting the other woman in your life
Though not in the flesh she stayed in our house
Mary Jane got you higher than my pussy ever could
Each with our own not-so-secret lovers
But I find a big difference in you helping yourself
& me helping others
Then you touch me & for that time everything is even keel
All the problems disappear
& I forget all the stupid things you've done

Warm Feeling

Have you ever searched for that safe feeling?
The warmth that can only come from a deliberate sense of contentment
Long to be wrapped up in it like you're inside your mother's womb
It's cozy
You think about it often and try as you might you can't find a viable equivalent
Remembering laying on your mother's chest when your tummy ached
Or your tooth hurt, and as she caressed your forehead although the pain didn't go away
Something came and overtook its place
A feeling of warmth
Kinda like the low setting on the oven
Not too high and not too low
Keeps it hot enough and it feels like luxury
I believe that's what we are all searching for
A girl tries to find the feeling all over
In the stores she shops, in the sites she visits and the clubs she frequents
But all she ended up with was too many clothes, too many Myspace friends and a disease she
can't get rid of
See once you leave the womb there's nothing like it
Sure there are plenty of artificials
Sex can give you that warm feeling
So can some drugs
For most, they finally find it at the most inopportune time
Because they don't expect a lethal injection to garner that feeling
So what do you do, when you need that feeling
That coziness like curling up to a warm fire on a cold day
Or hot cocoa down your aching throat
That fetal position ain't getting it anymore
You find it
Wherever you can

Green Eyes

My eyes are green
Because I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing
To do with your new friend

My eyes are green
Because I eat a lot of vegetables
It don't have nothing
To do with your new friend

I can be cordial, speak and play nice
Yeah girl he's a good man but lemme give you some advice
Hold on to that one because he's a rare kind
All the while biting my tongue for what I know in my mind
Is that like yin & yang, interlocking fingers
Ours could be a love that actually lingers
Unknowingly you have touched an unexplored part of heart
Deep in my soul & past my selfish parts
Left at my inhibitions and a slight right at my fears
There lies my true self that I haven't seen in years
And in such a short time you brought it out just like that
So seamless and effortless its like you had a map
But I keep the fact that I want you inside
Truthfully there isn't much else about me that I hide
And I know the same can be said for you and your soul
Because of the music and poetry you've let me hold
I'm not sure if your friend is better for you than I
I just know I wanna give you a try
More than my body my mind is calling for you
Although I gotta admit my hormones are having a say too
I'd love to run my fingers through your locks
Outline with my tongue every single box
Of your stomach until there is no more spit
But above all I want to climax your mind and see, that's just it
Mental over physical is first and foremost
Through the similes and metaphors you boast
That's how you got me like a fish on a hook
And I know she couldn't get some of that stuff if she had an answer book
But my eyes aren't green for jealousy
They represent the greener pastures I hope one day you'll see in me

Word

Friend
It's a word that gets thrown around more than frisbees in the park
Tossing it back and forth to each other like a hot potato
To the point that it loses its significance
It takes more than a conversation to be called my friend
As it should be for me
It's more than a six-letter word, a introductory greeting or label
It means that you understand why I can be the loudest person you know on Tuesday
But come Wednesday why I don't say a word
You're not surprised when I wear this to this club, and that to that club
To be my friend, the application process is strenous
Fuck that, I discriminate
If you can't handle the heat, then you're not made for this kitchen
Because my life didn't come with A/C so my oven is always on
But the benefits are countless
A friend to me, is a sister in agony
A soldier in war
The power forward to my shooting guard
And I make cuts every couple of seasons
Oh yes, I do waive, playas
Because I take the word very serious
Expect a lot, and you get a lot
Get a lot, and you can give a lot
One hand washes the other
Like a true friend

Number 8

I can't seem to get you out my mind
You torment me in my dreams with your touch and sweet kisses
I want you
But damn if I can't have you
I know that you want me
Wherever you are
I'm probably tormenting you
With my lips and smile
I wake up and I want you next to me
You don't come around often
But when you do, you latch on and stay a while
Affecting my work and my sleep
I can feel you touch my back and my stomach
Gently caressing my skin until the chill up my spine shocks me back to reality
I want you
I've pushed aside your love for so long, but now
I feen worse than an addict and his dope
I want you
But damn if I can't have you

*off the dome

My First Time

I don't do much blogging on this Spot, but I just had to write about the first time I got up in front of people and delivered my poetry as spoken word.
Although I didn't make much eye contact, I think I did ok. The people for the most part figured I would speak softly, so my booming voice surprised them a lot.
The feedback I got was very nice. I met a second member of Apotheosis Epidemic, Rap Game Blvd, who made me feel very comfortable. I must say that those guys have been very helpful, open and engaging about their poetry and mine.
Thank you to Teresa, who moderated Poetry Nite at the Mod, for her kind words and soft smiles. Thanks to the audience who endured with me as I stumbled a few times, probably more noticeable to me than them.

Who I Am

I know you don't the profession I've chose
By the way you squint and turn up your nose
Already you see me as a servant to the man
Who holds us back at every chance he can
Well I'mma let you know that that's not what I'm about
I'm doing this to help my people out
Like Harriet Tubman, when I get to the top I'm coming back
To bring more like mt to help pick up the slack
I know that you're angry at what you see
A black man in handcuffs every time you click on the TV
Or another missing white woman on the front of the paper
When you know there's black families feeling the same anger
& Sadness after their daughter's gone
Disappeared in the night with no clues to go on
I'm working to change that slowly but surely
It's a process you gotta be patient with me
Don't look at me like I'm different than you
Just because at 21 I have a clear view
Of what I want to do wit my life that I hope evolves
Into giving thousands of blacks media management jobs
I'm just like you in this world today
Raised in a single parent home with no father for days
Listening to rappers talk about life
Trying to get by with a spoon when you really need a knife
I can talk the language of my generation
I just choose to speak with a little better pronunciation
That's how you let then know you got a mind
& Ain't just out there smokin' weed and wastin' time
I'm asking us to come together & lift each other up
Eat from one bread & drink from one cup
Stop arguing about people that say we are asleep
When my man right here is just trying to eat
I know that the media controls how we think
I'mma use it to pull my people from the brink
So when you ask me why I want to be a reporter
Well the industry's shady & needs to be taken over

Insecurity

There is no rehab for it
Yet people struggle with it everyday
My name is Princess and I'm insecure
This strong exterior is a front
But it only happens when you come around
We run into each other in the oddest of places
It's like a drug and every time I run back to it
It calls me
And I find myself curled up in a corner
Tightening the belt and lighting the spoon
Put it straight into my bloodstream
As I sink a little deeper
And I only crave it when you come around
I feel like little middle school girl
Don't wanna be picked to dance first
But damn sure don't wanna be picked last
I think, Am I pretty enough?
Did he ever love me?
Knowing full well the answers are yes
The insecurity eats at me
But only when you come around
Unlike Fantasia, when I see you
I scribble shit like this in my notebook
And I second guess everything
That we ever were
That I ever was & am
I need some rehab

The Third U

Hi my name is Princess
Now who are you?
Bette yet, which U are you?
Don't understand? Ok let me explain
Most people have a third U that you don't meet 4 a while
The first U is polite & kind
Please, thank you & all that jazz
The second U is a little more bold
Open and trusting with background information
But its that third U
That's the one that gets ya
It can be completely different
Opposite & unpredictable
That's that U I wanna know
So like I said, which U are you?
It took me 15 years to meet D's third U
And my ex C has about four Us
My girl G's third U likes stars under her Us
And me, I'm a little more complex
Instead of me having a third U like U U U
I've got a double U like a W
One extreme to the next
The first U is me, and the second U is me
But unlike most people, who spawn a totally different third U
My Us come together to make a double U
A W
And I'm looking for a q for my W
To lead me and offer anchor if I need it
The X to my Y that complements my U
A Q, not a Que, but a Q
So I'll ask til I know
Which U are you?

Untitled

opposites attract
& your opposite is extremely attractive
brown & olive skin
a love deep and true within
I think
but we're magnets baby
touch my south to your north
& maybe we can make some chemistry

opposites attract
& your opposite is extremely addictive
straight & wavy hair
your scent is in the air
I think
but its spring baby
pollinate my life with your essence
& maybe we can grow together

opposites attract
& your opposite is extremely seductive
smooth & rough touch
a caress can do so much
I know
but its getting late baby
hold on tight or let it go
I just want you to reach ya plateau

I want you to feel me like I feel you
head in the clouds with my heart in your hands

see opposites attract
& I find your opposite attractive

Badu

I just had to take time to put this beautiful woman up here because she inspires me so much with my poetry and just everything. She's from South Dallas and I've been to a few of her concerts, hoping to make it out to her free concert for the Dallas Museum of Art.
My cousin Princess was a lounge singer before she died and she used to kick it with Ms. Badu's mom at some South Dallas clubs. That's my Badu connection, lol.

My best friend

Up on that stage he was a different person
Bearing his heart and his soul with such deliberate passion
Opened up my eyes to what he was trying to become
But he was closer than I think he knew
I was mesmerized by his voice and constant hand gestures and the way he caressed the mic
I think I'm falling for my best friend
He knows that I've kissed enough frogs in my day
Some even talked a good game but all
Ultimately failed to become the prince to this Princess
For him, my curiosity would surely kill me like it always did
I was down to my last life and I couldn't afford to squander it
But MY GOD, up on that stage he was a different person
Showing his sensitivities and leaving his insecurities in the chair next to me
Transitioning into something I had hoped would belong to a future stranger
But he had been closer that I knew
I am in awe of the metaphorical complexities in this original piece he performs
He talks of love, lost and found in the strangest of places
Back to his seat he heads next to me and I congratulate him on a moving performance
I touch his shoulder to let him know I care and watch him sip his iced tea
He smiles at me and I realize the problem is
Kissing frogs in the first place

Lost in the Groove

There's something innocent about the way you grab my hand
Place it in yours and guide my hips with your right
For those moments our hearts groove to a similar beat
As we dance to the tunes of Maxwell, Musiq and India real smoove
We don't make too much eye contact
Because all we see is the notes
The warmth of the music as it passes through one ear and into our system
Out the other and we're not really listening
We're feeling
Only smooth music can make you feel like this I whisper
And those words get so many responses
Your cheek on my temple, fingertips on the small of my back
As if the up and down motion of your index simulated a nod of your head
And we grooved
Stepped side to side in the middle of the crowd
Got lost in the movements, the feeling
Until there was nothing, in our minds
But everything, in our senses
You can smell the lavender of my hair
I can feel the breath leave your body
And we can hear the same groove, the slow groove
I imagine standing like this forever
Simple steps from left to right with nothing any place else

For all the stupid dudes in the world. . .

A little humor never hurt anyone. . .

I can't believe you've cone me in this egregious way
Don't look at me, nigga, like you ain't got nothing to say
Speak
Tell me what made you do me like this
No I'm not upset, I'm pissed
Not just because I've been dissed
By YOU of all people
But by the way you went about it
My last ex cheated and he got caught
And after I slashed his tires, shut off his lights and prankcalled his mom
Yea we fought
But we still talk
Laugh about the bowlegged cop and car alarm that wouldn't stop
See he tried to hide his affair
You, you put it all out in the air
He paid me the respect of keeping it a secret
You wrote down everywhere that ya'll went
I didn't have to tail your car or pop up at work
Your Myspace page gave me all the dirt
The girl - Vicki's her name - I don't even hate
But tell me why you put her in your top 8
Above ya sista, and JT, who you been knowing all your life
If anything putting her above ya first baby mama ain't right
I mean come on
Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out
What the four hour trips to Sonic was all about?
Ooo wait
Let's talk about the draws
You know I don't own blue, white and pink Victoria's Secret thongs
Size 16, the bitches was so big I picked 'em up with BBQ tongs
That's just wrong, could you even see them when she had 'em on?
I just don't understand you
But its ok
You can get your things and get gone
First gimme those 2 carat diamond earrings you got on
I bought those
You might wanna call a tow service
Because by now all four of your tires are on flat
And I took them $30,000 rims back
Don't expect your phone to work tomorrow at noon
And I tell ya momma we still cool

Show you my soul

Hello stranger
I hate to bother you but
I wonder if it would be OK for me to show you my soul
The depth of my well-being
Will that be OK?
Cause see
I've learned through my many travels that I
Tend to bury my soul deep inside my mind
And my heart
Cover the grave and leave it unmarked for no one to find
But a love once told me that
If you bury a soul too deep
And leave it unwatered it cannot grow
So
I stand before you today showing you my soul in hopes that
You will be that smart water
Fully nourished and free of chemicals
I know you thinking, "Why me?" but
You've got this
Purity to you comparable to a fresh mountain creek
And I was just hoping that I could
Show you my soul and you could
Spare some of your water
So that
The next time I bury soul I could irrigate your water
And my contribution would blossom into a field of flowers
And we could be
Strangers no more

Island Oasis

On a deserted island I sit and I am not afraid
I do not look back
Back at the uncertain
No, I keep my eyes affixed forward
To the waves, the clouds and the sea
In front of me
I watch the deliberateness of the waves
I feel the wind as it glides through every hair on my body
I smell the scent of openness in the sea water
I hear the sound of my indiscretions wiping away
And I am free
I lose myself in this calming oasis
On this deserted island I sit and I am aware
I breathe clearer than ever before
Clearer than my brief stint of asthma ever allowed me to
I observe clearer than ever before
Clearer than my longstanding affair with glasses or my college education ever allowed me to
My senses have heightened to a level I've never experienced
I wonder what I would be like to live out here
On this deserted island
To love out here, to be loved out here, to make love out here
Would your love invariably flow deeper than this ocean before me?
Would the love you make, on this deserted island, be smooth and rhymthic?
I lose myself in these endless possibilities
On this island - my island - I can do anything
And nothing
I can fly effortless like the sea gulls
Flirting with danger
Or I can do nothing
Let the waves wash over me repeatedly until I
Am
Nothing
On this deserted island

Done Fishin'

Fisherman, you're pathetic
How many lines do you need
to reel that prized catch?
I'm not a fisherman you say?
But I just saw you casting lines all over the dance floor and at the bar
Throwin' out your shitty bait to the insecure flounders
Savin' your best lures for the prettiest salmon
Yea nigga
YOU FISH
With that little tacklebox
Its a wonder you eat at all
I don't stunt your hot dog on a hook
Trust a Gordon's Fisherman I do not
Them muthafuckas are flaky
To catch me, you need more than a big, pretty pole
You need skill, luck and patience
Because the juiciest, rarest and most elusive fish
Are always worth the wait
But don't let me stop you
Those minnows look hungry
Just remember
You'll never feel full until you bring home that
Big, smilin' catfish

Waves

*To me, this is probably one of the most erotic poems I've ever written. When it was composed, I was sitting on some rocks in Galveston, watching the waves crash back and forth, and, without sounding too childish, I was turned on. Let me know what you think.

The way I want to love you
Is slow and deliberate
I want my love to hit you all at once
Then gently slide up your body
Rocking
Smooth
Until you are subdued
Until that beast inside you is tamed
And content
Content with the ways that I stroke it
Ever so gently
I want you to see my love coming
In the distance
And every once in a while
I want you to scream
Open your mouth and release a sound of submission
Dig your fingers in and let the force build on the surface of you
Don't hold it inside
Let it go and you will be set
Free
And when
You feel like your body can take no more
Relax
For I am here to do all the work
I am the wave

Intro

This will serve as my personal platform to create and post my original poetry, including past and present work. Feeling less constrained by the eyes of Facebook and Myspace, I hope to post more of personal work.
Check back often.