dear home
dear sweet peace
i still remember the sunflowers that grew on our balcony
how the sun always felt so strong through the sliding doors
the heat never overwhelming but
enough to let me know you were here
i was home
i've been so mashed up
abbreviated
can't complete a full anything lately just
half poems
half posts
half arguments
half outbursts
each dividing me against myself
i know she cries
i saw the day coming that tears wouldn't move me and yet
it hurts just the same
the world's words always been enough tide to move my oceans
i feel it in my bones and then
nothing but drowning
dear home
i don't know if i'm drowning
maybe that's not the thought when you swallowing water
may be you think about all the shortcomings
the spaces between who you supposed to be and who you are
that's what i think
i always thought myself a revolutionary
people call me hero
that's what i hear when they say my name
what can a princess do but save?
reign sovereign and just
do the right
i've tried to
loved whole and true to the best of my ability
see folk for what they are
but this a cold keep following me
every time i think i feel your sun
clouds, huh
dear sweet, sweet peace
remember the ivy?
the playful altar and the green
remember how hard days soften on a couch you paid for?
beautiful thing
the world you create
never the same as the one you in
this world full of vultures and vampires
full of regrets and i'm sorrys
full of not enough and too much
equal parts unequal
i'm just trying to be someone to be proud of
not a good enough case
i was never bottom rung
never will be
the weights in my mind, they heavy
i don't too much mind that they switch around
take shifts different hours
i just don't know if they get how much time i'm actually not here
how i'm always there
in my hamster wheel darkness
when i'd rather be with you, dear home
just with you
