Lady Pimp

Am I lady pimp?

Well let’s see

I can talk with a jive and I can dress so clean

And once I’m on, I can’t seem to get ‘em off me

By that definition, I must be a lady pimp

Blame my daddy for making me walk with this limp

His stroll heightened my style

And once I harnessed the power

This Luke Skywalker could bring any galaxy to its knees

I use the force

But my homies call it P-Dub Charisma

The potentials call me PRETTY and my SUGAR’s so sweet

That I left half of Dallas with type 2 diabetes

Some couldn’t handle it

Said they switched to Splenda (YO! LOL)

Oh yes I’mma new breed of chick

Call me Mini-Keke

My style slays ‘em like dragons

My smile lays ‘em like I lei’ed ‘em when they got off the plane

Don’t disrespect my flow by calling it game

Because games, you have to practice and sharpen your skill

This lady pimp right here, is naturally ill

Oh shit son

The confidence is brewin’

But don’t blame me, it’s all your doin’

When this lady pimp comes out all hell breaks loose

But I’mma head back inside cause this lady pimp

Is a recluse

Desperate

I failed you

I wasn’t there for you and you felt the need to do what you thought was right

But wrong in the eyes of the law

Desperate

He said

I’m a 20 year old kid

Trying my hardest to not do what my daddy did

I got three beautiful mouths to feed

And a minimum wage job ain’t what I need

I need money

Not for flashy bling

But so my little girls can have nice things

Like they own room and three separate cribs

Hell just my own place would be what that is

But I got a plan

I been eyeing this bank two blocks up the street

And I think I can take it before the police

Show, but I ain’t got a gun so they all think I’m stupid

But what other choice I got, I’m so fuckin’ desperate

He said

I’m 23 and I ain’t got shit

I ain’t even slipped up and had no kids

No reason to live, just me and my green

And whatever girl that’s around that can put up with me

When I was young I had ambition, shit I wanted to be

I coulda fixed cars or started my own company

No, here I am, wasting away my fuckin’ life

Everywhere I go leavin’ a wake of strife

Now here’s my girl, all in my fuckin’ ear

She won’t shut the fuck up and just get a nigga a beer

Bitch I told you for the last time I don’t wanna hear that, ay

Stop your fuckin’ cryin’

I didn’t mean to hit you, I was just

Desperate

I said

I’m a 21 year old grown ass woman

Just trying to get through life, become something from nothing

Got a hole I been trying to fill with love and

I never stopped to think that it could come from my cousins

The love from my family, a bond never broken

But now, I think I’m too late

Everyday someone either having a kid or sitting in jail

I never thought for a Caldwell this life could be hell

And I never thought for a Cole robbing would be the way

But hey, you learn new shit everyday

So I learned desperation ain’t what that is

And its definitely not how I wanna live

Three Wishes

I went to a furniture store to buy a lamp, tired of my living room not getting enough light

Took it home to clean and rubbed the beautiful fixture

Then, in a cloud of smoke, outpopped a genie

“I’ll grant you three wishes, but what you gon’ give me?”

I thought hard and said, “What you need?”

Smiling he said, “I’ll think of something.”

I asked for a true love that blinds

And in exchange he took my individuality

I asked to be pretty and snickering he gave me

But not until he took my sensibility

Before the third wish I sat back and thought, “Is it really worth this?”

My soul was getting pale and sick

Even my hair was no longer thick

I asked, “What do I have to give for a relationship with my family?”

He replied, “That, cutie pie, will cost you your dignity.”

Too big of a price to pay, I exclaimed “Then for my final wish and please make it true

I wanna get all my shit back from you

All that ain’t worth the death of my soul

Young niggas do the bullshit and I swear I’m too old”

He granted me the wish and I gave him the finger

And that’s the last time I buy a cheap light fixture

Black backpack

I saw him today
Black backpack
I don't know his name yet because its only been three days so
I just call him black backpack for now
But there he was
On the other side of the elevator doors
For a second
I thought I pushed heaven instead of number four because
Black Backpack
Is built, looks, smells and sounds like an angel
Hand crafted with God's special stash that he only uses to make men like
Denzel, Will Smith, Blair Underwood
6"1' with caramel skin
Medium build but you can tell his always in the gym because he wears his ID card on a blue lanyard around his neck
A goatee and waves that can take back to early mornings on Galveston Island
His eyes? Little light brown M&M's
And I have been craving chocolate like I'm eight months pregnant with swollen feet
Yep black backpack is my daily Red Bull
Caffeine-free and guaranteed to put a spring in my step with a single quarter-second look
Today, as we crossed paths for the fifth time in three days
His shoulder grazed my shoulder and for a second
A million images raced through my brain of
Long walks, hugs, talks, kisses, smiles, grazes, touches, rubs, mornings, nights, soft grazes and softer phrases
I heard him say "Excuse me" with sincerity
And my response "It's ok" was lost in the whirr of the elevator doors
Black backpack
I wish I knew his name

That's just me

*This poem says a lot of the stuff that I've been wanting to say for a while, especially for all the people that secretly check for me, or wonder why I do the things/wear the things I do. I'm confident enough in myself to post this. So you can either dig it or suck it easy!

The girl who you thought I was yesterday
I am her thoroughly
And who you thought I was last Tuesday
I am her, too, truly
I am me
I live by my own rules
Unconstrained by society I do my thang
Spike Lee calls me Mookie cause I Do the Right Thing
Which is me
I don't fit into your little boxes
This ain't Weeds
To most people my way is confusing
Well, that's just me
But here's a cheat sheet if you just have to ask
You'll be tested everyday so I hope you pass
And for your convenience I even added a beat
So you can follow along, if you need to tap your feet
I rock a billed beanie and studded belt for a punk rock feel
Throw on my white AF1s and matching hat so I can keep it real
Got a padded bra and mini skirt if I feel like sluttin'
Need some shades to match my ice for when I feel like stuntin'
Funny thing is when I go home all this shit comes off
And I'm still a person with independent thought
Because you're supposed to make the clothes, not clothes make you
And don't like and say they don't because you know they do
And these clothes don't make P-Dub, just in case you were thinkin'
That my collection of fedoras means I'm pimpin'
Or my baggy jeans and blazers mean I be lickin'
I see you lookin' at me sayin' this girl is trippin'
Don't get me wrong now, I don't mind the looks
I just wish while you turn your head you could turn on them books
You can get an education in classes and in the streets
I hope this poem gives you a little education on me

My poetry

My poetry works through me
Like a portal from my subconscious and unconscious
That finds a small exit at the end of my pencil lead
It leads me
There are times when I don’t travel the portal often
Scared of what’s on the other side
But every time I step through its magnet grip
And my mind is stretched and bent similar to a cartoon
I come out a better person
Unknowingly
Sometimes it’s deep
Filled with heat like
“I don’t think I was born underwater with three dollars and six dimes
But I can loan you a dub and 16 nickels to buy a ticket out the past
Now get that!”
And sometimes
Real talk
It’s straight bullshit
But it’s all me
All my poetry

Falling

If a heart can break
When you fall in love
Un-cushioned by the one you love
Thought heaven sent from above
Then how many times can you fix it?
Because I've searched and searched for the right glue
The right U
That would come along
And repair my heart's broken pieces
I've tried by myself and I'm getting pretty close
But I always find
Like a jigsaw puzzle
A few pieces missing
I've concluded that when I fall
And my heart shatters
You each take a little piece for yourself
Which is your place
Maybe its on your mantle above your fireplace
I don't grudge on my missing shard
Little Nan-shaped, Ru-shaped, Book-shaped shards
I just wonder how I'm supposed to put my heart back together
If all the pieces I need are so far apart
Does that mean I shouldn't fall?
Does that keep you standing tall?
Because me
I'm not scared, but apprehensive
That's all