My First Time

I don't do much blogging on this Spot, but I just had to write about the first time I got up in front of people and delivered my poetry as spoken word.
Although I didn't make much eye contact, I think I did ok. The people for the most part figured I would speak softly, so my booming voice surprised them a lot.
The feedback I got was very nice. I met a second member of Apotheosis Epidemic, Rap Game Blvd, who made me feel very comfortable. I must say that those guys have been very helpful, open and engaging about their poetry and mine.
Thank you to Teresa, who moderated Poetry Nite at the Mod, for her kind words and soft smiles. Thanks to the audience who endured with me as I stumbled a few times, probably more noticeable to me than them.

Who I Am

I know you don't the profession I've chose
By the way you squint and turn up your nose
Already you see me as a servant to the man
Who holds us back at every chance he can
Well I'mma let you know that that's not what I'm about
I'm doing this to help my people out
Like Harriet Tubman, when I get to the top I'm coming back
To bring more like mt to help pick up the slack
I know that you're angry at what you see
A black man in handcuffs every time you click on the TV
Or another missing white woman on the front of the paper
When you know there's black families feeling the same anger
& Sadness after their daughter's gone
Disappeared in the night with no clues to go on
I'm working to change that slowly but surely
It's a process you gotta be patient with me
Don't look at me like I'm different than you
Just because at 21 I have a clear view
Of what I want to do wit my life that I hope evolves
Into giving thousands of blacks media management jobs
I'm just like you in this world today
Raised in a single parent home with no father for days
Listening to rappers talk about life
Trying to get by with a spoon when you really need a knife
I can talk the language of my generation
I just choose to speak with a little better pronunciation
That's how you let then know you got a mind
& Ain't just out there smokin' weed and wastin' time
I'm asking us to come together & lift each other up
Eat from one bread & drink from one cup
Stop arguing about people that say we are asleep
When my man right here is just trying to eat
I know that the media controls how we think
I'mma use it to pull my people from the brink
So when you ask me why I want to be a reporter
Well the industry's shady & needs to be taken over

Insecurity

There is no rehab for it
Yet people struggle with it everyday
My name is Princess and I'm insecure
This strong exterior is a front
But it only happens when you come around
We run into each other in the oddest of places
It's like a drug and every time I run back to it
It calls me
And I find myself curled up in a corner
Tightening the belt and lighting the spoon
Put it straight into my bloodstream
As I sink a little deeper
And I only crave it when you come around
I feel like little middle school girl
Don't wanna be picked to dance first
But damn sure don't wanna be picked last
I think, Am I pretty enough?
Did he ever love me?
Knowing full well the answers are yes
The insecurity eats at me
But only when you come around
Unlike Fantasia, when I see you
I scribble shit like this in my notebook
And I second guess everything
That we ever were
That I ever was & am
I need some rehab

The Third U

Hi my name is Princess
Now who are you?
Bette yet, which U are you?
Don't understand? Ok let me explain
Most people have a third U that you don't meet 4 a while
The first U is polite & kind
Please, thank you & all that jazz
The second U is a little more bold
Open and trusting with background information
But its that third U
That's the one that gets ya
It can be completely different
Opposite & unpredictable
That's that U I wanna know
So like I said, which U are you?
It took me 15 years to meet D's third U
And my ex C has about four Us
My girl G's third U likes stars under her Us
And me, I'm a little more complex
Instead of me having a third U like U U U
I've got a double U like a W
One extreme to the next
The first U is me, and the second U is me
But unlike most people, who spawn a totally different third U
My Us come together to make a double U
A W
And I'm looking for a q for my W
To lead me and offer anchor if I need it
The X to my Y that complements my U
A Q, not a Que, but a Q
So I'll ask til I know
Which U are you?

Untitled

opposites attract
& your opposite is extremely attractive
brown & olive skin
a love deep and true within
I think
but we're magnets baby
touch my south to your north
& maybe we can make some chemistry

opposites attract
& your opposite is extremely addictive
straight & wavy hair
your scent is in the air
I think
but its spring baby
pollinate my life with your essence
& maybe we can grow together

opposites attract
& your opposite is extremely seductive
smooth & rough touch
a caress can do so much
I know
but its getting late baby
hold on tight or let it go
I just want you to reach ya plateau

I want you to feel me like I feel you
head in the clouds with my heart in your hands

see opposites attract
& I find your opposite attractive

Badu

I just had to take time to put this beautiful woman up here because she inspires me so much with my poetry and just everything. She's from South Dallas and I've been to a few of her concerts, hoping to make it out to her free concert for the Dallas Museum of Art.
My cousin Princess was a lounge singer before she died and she used to kick it with Ms. Badu's mom at some South Dallas clubs. That's my Badu connection, lol.

My best friend

Up on that stage he was a different person
Bearing his heart and his soul with such deliberate passion
Opened up my eyes to what he was trying to become
But he was closer than I think he knew
I was mesmerized by his voice and constant hand gestures and the way he caressed the mic
I think I'm falling for my best friend
He knows that I've kissed enough frogs in my day
Some even talked a good game but all
Ultimately failed to become the prince to this Princess
For him, my curiosity would surely kill me like it always did
I was down to my last life and I couldn't afford to squander it
But MY GOD, up on that stage he was a different person
Showing his sensitivities and leaving his insecurities in the chair next to me
Transitioning into something I had hoped would belong to a future stranger
But he had been closer that I knew
I am in awe of the metaphorical complexities in this original piece he performs
He talks of love, lost and found in the strangest of places
Back to his seat he heads next to me and I congratulate him on a moving performance
I touch his shoulder to let him know I care and watch him sip his iced tea
He smiles at me and I realize the problem is
Kissing frogs in the first place

Lost in the Groove

There's something innocent about the way you grab my hand
Place it in yours and guide my hips with your right
For those moments our hearts groove to a similar beat
As we dance to the tunes of Maxwell, Musiq and India real smoove
We don't make too much eye contact
Because all we see is the notes
The warmth of the music as it passes through one ear and into our system
Out the other and we're not really listening
We're feeling
Only smooth music can make you feel like this I whisper
And those words get so many responses
Your cheek on my temple, fingertips on the small of my back
As if the up and down motion of your index simulated a nod of your head
And we grooved
Stepped side to side in the middle of the crowd
Got lost in the movements, the feeling
Until there was nothing, in our minds
But everything, in our senses
You can smell the lavender of my hair
I can feel the breath leave your body
And we can hear the same groove, the slow groove
I imagine standing like this forever
Simple steps from left to right with nothing any place else

For all the stupid dudes in the world. . .

A little humor never hurt anyone. . .

I can't believe you've cone me in this egregious way
Don't look at me, nigga, like you ain't got nothing to say
Speak
Tell me what made you do me like this
No I'm not upset, I'm pissed
Not just because I've been dissed
By YOU of all people
But by the way you went about it
My last ex cheated and he got caught
And after I slashed his tires, shut off his lights and prankcalled his mom
Yea we fought
But we still talk
Laugh about the bowlegged cop and car alarm that wouldn't stop
See he tried to hide his affair
You, you put it all out in the air
He paid me the respect of keeping it a secret
You wrote down everywhere that ya'll went
I didn't have to tail your car or pop up at work
Your Myspace page gave me all the dirt
The girl - Vicki's her name - I don't even hate
But tell me why you put her in your top 8
Above ya sista, and JT, who you been knowing all your life
If anything putting her above ya first baby mama ain't right
I mean come on
Did you honestly think I wouldn't find out
What the four hour trips to Sonic was all about?
Ooo wait
Let's talk about the draws
You know I don't own blue, white and pink Victoria's Secret thongs
Size 16, the bitches was so big I picked 'em up with BBQ tongs
That's just wrong, could you even see them when she had 'em on?
I just don't understand you
But its ok
You can get your things and get gone
First gimme those 2 carat diamond earrings you got on
I bought those
You might wanna call a tow service
Because by now all four of your tires are on flat
And I took them $30,000 rims back
Don't expect your phone to work tomorrow at noon
And I tell ya momma we still cool

Show you my soul

Hello stranger
I hate to bother you but
I wonder if it would be OK for me to show you my soul
The depth of my well-being
Will that be OK?
Cause see
I've learned through my many travels that I
Tend to bury my soul deep inside my mind
And my heart
Cover the grave and leave it unmarked for no one to find
But a love once told me that
If you bury a soul too deep
And leave it unwatered it cannot grow
So
I stand before you today showing you my soul in hopes that
You will be that smart water
Fully nourished and free of chemicals
I know you thinking, "Why me?" but
You've got this
Purity to you comparable to a fresh mountain creek
And I was just hoping that I could
Show you my soul and you could
Spare some of your water
So that
The next time I bury soul I could irrigate your water
And my contribution would blossom into a field of flowers
And we could be
Strangers no more

Island Oasis

On a deserted island I sit and I am not afraid
I do not look back
Back at the uncertain
No, I keep my eyes affixed forward
To the waves, the clouds and the sea
In front of me
I watch the deliberateness of the waves
I feel the wind as it glides through every hair on my body
I smell the scent of openness in the sea water
I hear the sound of my indiscretions wiping away
And I am free
I lose myself in this calming oasis
On this deserted island I sit and I am aware
I breathe clearer than ever before
Clearer than my brief stint of asthma ever allowed me to
I observe clearer than ever before
Clearer than my longstanding affair with glasses or my college education ever allowed me to
My senses have heightened to a level I've never experienced
I wonder what I would be like to live out here
On this deserted island
To love out here, to be loved out here, to make love out here
Would your love invariably flow deeper than this ocean before me?
Would the love you make, on this deserted island, be smooth and rhymthic?
I lose myself in these endless possibilities
On this island - my island - I can do anything
And nothing
I can fly effortless like the sea gulls
Flirting with danger
Or I can do nothing
Let the waves wash over me repeatedly until I
Am
Nothing
On this deserted island

Done Fishin'

Fisherman, you're pathetic
How many lines do you need
to reel that prized catch?
I'm not a fisherman you say?
But I just saw you casting lines all over the dance floor and at the bar
Throwin' out your shitty bait to the insecure flounders
Savin' your best lures for the prettiest salmon
Yea nigga
YOU FISH
With that little tacklebox
Its a wonder you eat at all
I don't stunt your hot dog on a hook
Trust a Gordon's Fisherman I do not
Them muthafuckas are flaky
To catch me, you need more than a big, pretty pole
You need skill, luck and patience
Because the juiciest, rarest and most elusive fish
Are always worth the wait
But don't let me stop you
Those minnows look hungry
Just remember
You'll never feel full until you bring home that
Big, smilin' catfish

Waves

*To me, this is probably one of the most erotic poems I've ever written. When it was composed, I was sitting on some rocks in Galveston, watching the waves crash back and forth, and, without sounding too childish, I was turned on. Let me know what you think.

The way I want to love you
Is slow and deliberate
I want my love to hit you all at once
Then gently slide up your body
Rocking
Smooth
Until you are subdued
Until that beast inside you is tamed
And content
Content with the ways that I stroke it
Ever so gently
I want you to see my love coming
In the distance
And every once in a while
I want you to scream
Open your mouth and release a sound of submission
Dig your fingers in and let the force build on the surface of you
Don't hold it inside
Let it go and you will be set
Free
And when
You feel like your body can take no more
Relax
For I am here to do all the work
I am the wave

Intro

This will serve as my personal platform to create and post my original poetry, including past and present work. Feeling less constrained by the eyes of Facebook and Myspace, I hope to post more of personal work.
Check back often.